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July 19, 2003 at 12:00 AM
I just read these reviews.. and I must stand up to defend my girl! Just because you think what's happening in her story isnt reality, doesnt mean that her point of view isn't like that... how dare you think that just because you have seen one thing one way that every writer should write your way.. Okay?
Shelia
Shelia
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July 15, 2003 at 12:00 AM
I loved that fic it was great! I don't like flaming and I won't but there was only one thing I didn't like and that was the idea of a foursome the rest was great though! I loved all of it! You must be great at sad stories b/c I almost cried and that's not normal! I'm definatly going to read the sequal! Good luck with the other fics!
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July 9, 2003 at 12:00 AM
Thank you, naomi and everyone else for reviewing *Ryou hugs Reviewers*
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July 9, 2003 at 12:00 AM
*Still crying in happiness* I love this fic! Aw, Bakura and Ryou Rock they're my fave YGO! Couple
*Ps. Do I Get a hug from Ryou for reviewing this lovely peice of work?
*Ps. Do I Get a hug from Ryou for reviewing this lovely peice of work?
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April 6, 2003 at 12:00 AM
Good story, and teach that bastard dad of Ryou's to fuck off like the fucking fucky fucking fucker he is :)
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April 5, 2003 at 12:00 AM
hey! i reviewed ur story in ff.net! n e wayz, no matter how many times i read this, is still luv ryou and bakura *drools* and ur ficcy!
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March 31, 2003 at 12:00 AM
This story was so sad...and angsty...I was on the verge of tears. I'll get around to reading Baby of Mine soon. I just finished this fic....;_; Oh, this story was so tear inducing.
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March 30, 2003 at 12:00 AM
GRRR... That it!!! *look for his dueling deck* I wanna ask Bakara to used his Ring to summon "Exodia the Forbidden One" and kill that MAN!!! S T E V E N!! I would just used Exodia kill him in SLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOW and PAINFULLY as he would just WISH his history family life were NEVER been BORN!!! Hell, I just Ask for Monster Reborn on him many time and do it AGAIN! AND AGAIN! AND AGAIN! I am sure everyone out there get the picture. *blushed* But how can it possible the MAN in the suit can rip him from his perious home? It is possible that man can rip him from his home? What about Ryou and Bakara? Are they really did own the house or it all his... *cough up in disgust* Fat-- NO! DAMN IT! *hit myself many time* I refuse to call him that name... Steven. STEVENSTEVENSTEVEN! He own the house? If yes, I feel so tearful for Ryou. :( Poor guy. But I am kind of glad he IS living with Marik/Malik, but Ryou need that home. To make him feel safe... But everyone have to move somewhere... Don't worry Ryou. Bakara is on your side and Ra before me that no mortal or immortal shall hamr you or taking away your heart away from Bakara. You and Bakara ARE as one. Forever. Impossible to break. Not even death can rip you. You two will be still together. ^_^ If I have Immortal life as I fell in love with mortal man... I will go against my wishes. I will turn down immortal life. :) I cannot bare to see my love to die first. I just can't. :( Bakura and Ryou.... I gave you my blessing and a good luck of love together. *bow as I hug Bakura and Ryou* As for the great Ra(Bakuraasgirl), Thank you for gaving these men a great hope of life and love. I would sacrifice my life if one of them been rip apart. I will used my to to try safe the rip and try sew it back together. :) Oh Ra, Thank you and good luck with your making(Writing). Amen. Those ou wou who read this and life my comm. Please do so to email me. I would like to heard you option what I have feeling for this story. :) Thank you for your time. Esp Ra(Bakuraasgirl), Ra is our friend and I am thankful that Ra make a great love. :) Ciao and Ra bless.
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March 29, 2003 at 12:00 AM
Start on the next chapter for this story. I'm going crazy if you do not continue. I just really want to know what is going to happen next in this story. So please hurry up! Sorry if this review is a little bit small and stupid. It is just that I'm not use to writing reviews.:P
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March 23, 2003 at 12:00 AM
Hm.... Ok. Prepare for a long review. Hopefully this won't come off too harsh, but there are parts of this story I like, and parts that I really dislike.
These are all my opinions, and you may disregard them as you like, because it is your fic. However, I request that you read them and consider what I have to say.
First off -- the prequel where Yami Bakura is abusive, which I read on ff.net -- I have major problems with abuse stories where Bakura eventually hooks up with Yami Bakura, despite a lot of physical abuse and hate and stuff. Would *you* hook up with somebody who beat you? Even if you had been attracted to them before the abuse... or, if you want to stick to that plot, you need to really work on Yami Bakura's transition from abusive to loving, because it will NOT happen overnight. Because of Yami Bakura's warped character, it actually isn't much of a stretch to see him hurting somebody he loves, but the motivation and reason for that needs to be done better. There might not even be a reason -- he might just feel so much emotion toward Ryou he doesn't know what to do with it, and it comes out violently -- but in that case, he would not know he was in love, he would not be surprised by thinking that Ryou was beautiful (because in that case he would have admitted so all along), and he would definitely not stop hitting Ryou even if Ryou was a little child. And do some research on Stockholm Syndrome, if you want Ryou to still be in love with him.
Secondly -- the treatment of Anzu. OK, I can understand if you don't like her, and the bashing is perfecty fine for humour stories, but it really doesn't fit with a serious fic like what this was trying to be. And she's not that bad in the show. In the series, she is their friend and they are her friends... and, not to sound trite, but friendship is one of the main themes of YGO.
Thirdly -- The problem of hate crimes against gays is a very real one, and I do like the fact that you've tried to write about it. It's a problem I've faced, it's a problem my friends have faced, and there's a lot of hate out there. But again, like your treatment of Ryou as an abuse victim, it's not handled as tastefully or sensitively as it should be. Both abuse and homophobia are very real problems, and neither is portrayed realistically in this fic. I can see if his father doesn't agree with him being gay -- my grandmother would have a stroke if I told her I was bi -- but having his father beat him just for that seems a bit extreme. Since his father is such a severe homohphobe, I could see that reaction to somebody who wasn't related to him, but his own son? Although you do make Steven into a complete and utter bastard, parts of his character don't agree with others. At time you write him as though he really does care about Ryou, and then you write that he's responsible for his wife's death? I can work with this if his character is consistent throughout, but the variations are what gets to me.
Lastly -- this is kind of related to the homophobia. There have been times when large groups attacked and killed one or two gays, and it's a horrible thing, but I don't know if it would be quite as bad as it is when you describe them breaking into KaibaCorp. I dou has hasitly-formed mob of bigots could break into a building with a well-trained security force.
However, I'll end this on sitisitive note. The idea you were trying to communicate with this fic, that love doesn't know gender, and that some people are homophobic assholes, is a good idea, and it's not often that we see a yaoi fic that deals with this very real problem/threat. I think that if you redid most of this, it could be a very good story.
That's all.
These are all my opinions, and you may disregard them as you like, because it is your fic. However, I request that you read them and consider what I have to say.
First off -- the prequel where Yami Bakura is abusive, which I read on ff.net -- I have major problems with abuse stories where Bakura eventually hooks up with Yami Bakura, despite a lot of physical abuse and hate and stuff. Would *you* hook up with somebody who beat you? Even if you had been attracted to them before the abuse... or, if you want to stick to that plot, you need to really work on Yami Bakura's transition from abusive to loving, because it will NOT happen overnight. Because of Yami Bakura's warped character, it actually isn't much of a stretch to see him hurting somebody he loves, but the motivation and reason for that needs to be done better. There might not even be a reason -- he might just feel so much emotion toward Ryou he doesn't know what to do with it, and it comes out violently -- but in that case, he would not know he was in love, he would not be surprised by thinking that Ryou was beautiful (because in that case he would have admitted so all along), and he would definitely not stop hitting Ryou even if Ryou was a little child. And do some research on Stockholm Syndrome, if you want Ryou to still be in love with him.
Secondly -- the treatment of Anzu. OK, I can understand if you don't like her, and the bashing is perfecty fine for humour stories, but it really doesn't fit with a serious fic like what this was trying to be. And she's not that bad in the show. In the series, she is their friend and they are her friends... and, not to sound trite, but friendship is one of the main themes of YGO.
Thirdly -- The problem of hate crimes against gays is a very real one, and I do like the fact that you've tried to write about it. It's a problem I've faced, it's a problem my friends have faced, and there's a lot of hate out there. But again, like your treatment of Ryou as an abuse victim, it's not handled as tastefully or sensitively as it should be. Both abuse and homophobia are very real problems, and neither is portrayed realistically in this fic. I can see if his father doesn't agree with him being gay -- my grandmother would have a stroke if I told her I was bi -- but having his father beat him just for that seems a bit extreme. Since his father is such a severe homohphobe, I could see that reaction to somebody who wasn't related to him, but his own son? Although you do make Steven into a complete and utter bastard, parts of his character don't agree with others. At time you write him as though he really does care about Ryou, and then you write that he's responsible for his wife's death? I can work with this if his character is consistent throughout, but the variations are what gets to me.
Lastly -- this is kind of related to the homophobia. There have been times when large groups attacked and killed one or two gays, and it's a horrible thing, but I don't know if it would be quite as bad as it is when you describe them breaking into KaibaCorp. I dou has hasitly-formed mob of bigots could break into a building with a well-trained security force.
However, I'll end this on sitisitive note. The idea you were trying to communicate with this fic, that love doesn't know gender, and that some people are homophobic assholes, is a good idea, and it's not often that we see a yaoi fic that deals with this very real problem/threat. I think that if you redid most of this, it could be a very good story.
That's all.