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July 29, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Please update this soon! I can't wait to see what happens next! *Glomp*
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July 29, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Bakura got over it that quickly?! hmm i don't think so lol i reckon he's just bein brave, the again you can never tell with bakura
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July 29, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Bakura got over it that quickly?! hmm i don't think so lol i on hon he's just bein brave, the again you can never tell with bakura
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July 29, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Bakura got over it that quickly?! hmm i don't think so lol i reckon he's just bein brave, the again you can never tell with bakura
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July 29, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Cool story! Can't wait for the next chapter! I think they need to get Pegasus first!
Bakura comes home drunk singing with a group of drunk Bunnies!
Ryo: BAKURAAAAAAA!!
Bakura: Hey Ryo! I brought you home a whole shit load of bunnies! If Marik sits on one, you'll have more! They make great drinking buddies!
Bakura comes home drunk singing with a group of drunk Bunnies!
Ryo: BAKURAAAAAAA!!
Bakura: Hey Ryo! I brought you home a whole shit load of bunnies! If Marik sits on one, you'll have more! They make great drinking buddies!
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July 29, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Great chapter huni!
Really really good!
I cant wait to see what happens when Yami goes away and leaves Bakura and Marik there...granted they'll have Seto, but im sure there will be some mischief going on hehe *hopes*
Please update again soonies!
Much Luv
Debs xxx
Really really good!
I cant wait to see what happens when Yami goes away and leaves Bakura and Marik there...granted they'll have Seto, but im sure there will be some mischief going on hehe *hopes*
Please update again soonies!
Much Luv
Debs xxx
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July 29, 2004 at 12:00 AM
RD:well good to know that bakura is back on his feet bout all this and i am happy that nothin happened to yugi thanks to malike hehe shows you he's no weakling hehe well keep up the great work please i want to read were pegesas gets the trouncing he deserves a hundred fold booya hehe well gtg now TTFN TA TA FOR NOW
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July 19, 2004 at 12:00 AM
What an interesting concept. Reminds me of my mass character AU [only mine was Fushigi Yugi cast in a medieval period]. One can certainly tell that you have a love of romance novels in the way you construct levels of lust and fluff among the various couples.
But you could use a little creative crit as well. First off, I've noticed you have the tendency to copy yourself in descriptiveness. This is apparent ma in in the lemons, but also in certain characterizations. You also tend to misspell certain words ['strait' instead of 'straight' or 'bare' instead of 'bear', etc]. These are easily rectified if you looked into getting a beta reader, or rather someone who can preview and correct such errors that can distract the reader before you post it.
You have the tendency to create character cliches between the seme and uke roles. Ryou is the only I c I can imagine acting to that level of femeninity only because of how he's been treated thus far combined with the characterization elements of his persona. Malik seems to be pretty level. But you've figuratively castrated Yugi and Otogi, especially Yugi.
Your accuracy on certain elements from this time period are well-researched and thought out. But the anime cliches [sweatdropping, chibifying, etc] hardly belong in the Norse era. Also, the passage of time versus riesries sustained [both mental and physical] seems impossible. Rape is much more traumatic in real life, and a rapee would not be so easily trusting of his rapist [ie Ryou to Bakura]. Nor would Ryou be up and about easily the next day after his near-suicide.
But overall, I would not have gotten this far in your fic [all the way to the latest chapter] if I wasn't enjoying myself and interested in how you would continue this.
But above all, please contemplate looking into gettting a beta reader. That would help in protraying this elaborate story in a superior format and weaving a far richer world that others would be eager to enjoy. Because t are are quite a few readers with impeciable tastes that would snub your writing barely into the first chapter.
Thank you. ^_^
But you could use a little creative crit as well. First off, I've noticed you have the tendency to copy yourself in descriptiveness. This is apparent ma in in the lemons, but also in certain characterizations. You also tend to misspell certain words ['strait' instead of 'straight' or 'bare' instead of 'bear', etc]. These are easily rectified if you looked into getting a beta reader, or rather someone who can preview and correct such errors that can distract the reader before you post it.
You have the tendency to create character cliches between the seme and uke roles. Ryou is the only I c I can imagine acting to that level of femeninity only because of how he's been treated thus far combined with the characterization elements of his persona. Malik seems to be pretty level. But you've figuratively castrated Yugi and Otogi, especially Yugi.
Your accuracy on certain elements from this time period are well-researched and thought out. But the anime cliches [sweatdropping, chibifying, etc] hardly belong in the Norse era. Also, the passage of time versus riesries sustained [both mental and physical] seems impossible. Rape is much more traumatic in real life, and a rapee would not be so easily trusting of his rapist [ie Ryou to Bakura]. Nor would Ryou be up and about easily the next day after his near-suicide.
But overall, I would not have gotten this far in your fic [all the way to the latest chapter] if I wasn't enjoying myself and interested in how you would continue this.
But above all, please contemplate looking into gettting a beta reader. That would help in protraying this elaborate story in a superior format and weaving a far richer world that others would be eager to enjoy. Because t are are quite a few readers with impeciable tastes that would snub your writing barely into the first chapter.
Thank you. ^_^
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July 18, 2004 at 12:00 AM
...@_@ Oh. My. Ra. This is probably one of the best fanfics I've ever read... I like a good lemon ever now and then, but lemons with humor, drama, violence, an actual plot, AND the hot gay sex just... *goes off into happy fangirl land* I was up until 5 AM reading this thing, and I want mooooore ;_; UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE! >.>
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July 17, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Just one word= MORE!!!! I want more damnit!!! Please, Please contue with this stoy!
Your one of the very best YGO writers I know about! (and I know a lot!)
LOVE THE STORY!!!!
Good ploting, and good, very good lemons!
I wish I could see a move like this one!
So PLEASE contue. (note= my sp'ing is bad ^.^') ^___^!!!!
Your one of the very best YGO writers I know about! (and I know a lot!)
LOVE THE STORY!!!!
Good ploting, and good, very good lemons!
I wish I could see a move like this one!
So PLEASE contue. (note= my sp'ing is bad ^.^') ^___^!!!!