rate_review Reviews

I WUV THESE KIND OF PARINGS LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OMG! That was HILLUS! US! But you need to go back and break the chapter up! It got confussing with the whole thing in one big block like that.

This is a pretty interesting idea...you don't see much het in this fandom. [Mainly b/c the female characters are just...bleh. Anzu=annoying as hell, Mai=bitch, Isis=static, no character development] I personally prefer yaoi, but that's beside the point. And I like the 'freak accident frees a duel monster' thing. I would suggest reading more het lemons and getting a beta reader, though. There aren't that many spelling/grammar issues, but the writing itself could use some reworking. And if you used the less than/greater than signs to frame thoughts, you need to use a different symbol. The text box thing here treats stuff framed in those as html tags, and it won't actually show up in the text. And I don't know if you've actually looked at your published story here yet, but 1/2 of it is in italics. If you want to italicize a word, use 'greater than'i'less than' text to be in italics 'greater than'/i'less than'.

*snickers* OMG that is seriously a fucked up story. I couldnt stop snickering! Wow..how hilarious! Be sure to separate the paragraphs next time!